Jacky Ralph Amos

Me and Haven spent today with you, son, and then part of it shopping around for decor for your grave.  I finally gave up and left Big Lots since nothing could really satisfy me.  Finally John found the perfect color shepherd's hook that I was looking for, but it's TALL!  He will have to cut it down and reweld it, and I will put it at the head of your cover so that we can put hanging baskets, wind'chimes are whatever to hang over your grave.  Now I am looking for a small shepherd's hook, perfect color, to put at the side or end of your cover and the perfect box to hang from it and hold the notes that people so love to leave you.

I save all of your notes and cards, and even balloons once they begin to deflate.  I will fold them and put them with the notes.  When the box is full, I will put the notes in a sandwich bag that I've dated and will put keep them with your momentos.  I'm going tomorrow to look for it.

Also, I'm going to see if I can get permission to put a wrought iron bench beside your grave since you own all of those lots around you.

Haven keeps wanting to lay stray flowers on you, and I have to keep picking them up.  Finally she got annoyed with me and said, But I just love him!  I will let her help pick you out a basket for the shepherd's hook.  She is drawn to the grave of a two year old that is about a dozen graves away from you.  I always aim for your grave, as first'off she's dead aim of the babe.  Puts me in mind of you and Micah.  I guess that we will buy something for the little grave too since I know that she will insist.

It's been a good day both for her and me.  I think that all of this sunshine and you having your grave'cover makes such a big difference.  I'm so glad that you're only about two minutes away, just around the corner.

I love you!

Jacky, Jacky, Jacky!  I am so excited!  You have a grave'cover now, with the poem that YOU wrote on it.  It's so pretty!!  I went to see it today, and then Wee sent pics.  I can't stop pulling those pics up and reading and re'reading your poem.  SUCH talent and eloquent way of speaking from the heart causes me all the more to know that you are truly a child of God.

I've already passed the pics on to my barn.  Gotta pass them on to other places to.  Soooo proud of you!  I love you.

I love you, Angie.  If something happened to me you have a BIG family and huge support system, and don't forget that your daddy is always there for you, too.  Jacky's death has opened his eyes (ALL of our eyes) to how important family is, so you and Haven will never be deserted.  Look at that crowd that was here over Easter.  ALL of them are your blood'kin, they are close family, and you have mega bonds with pretty much all of them.

Choose to cling to God and be happy, because he will give you Christ spirit of peace if you just ask.  He will give you the desires of your heart, the fruit, if you just ask and be patient and ask according to HIS timing and perfect will.  He WILL put a postive role model in Haven's life, someone that you both can trust and love forever, if you just let him do it his way.  He will give you every single desire of your heart (because he put those desires there),  if you don't jump ahead of him and allow him time to work in your life by putting him first.  He will put peace, happiness and joy into your heart despite circumstances if you will just accept it and as Joyce Meyers would say, immediately cast away the negative thoughts once they come creeping into your mind.  It was once hard for me too to grasp the fact that God wasn't only my heavenly father, but he is my earthly father too, and a husband, a provider, a confidant,  a soother.  We can't trust man because men aren't perfect, but God is, and he will work perfection into your life.

Things may happen that we don't understand, but just as a child doesn't really understand why we keep them from the cookie jar, we as God's children don't understand why some things are allowed to happen.  He says that our ways are not his way, our thoughts not his thoughts.  He has so much in store for us, and we get our rose'buds clipped along the way because we can't grow in spirit if we're not regularly pruned.  Like a fruit tree, we have to be pruned to be able to bare fruit and MORE fruit.  Fruit is not only earthly blessings and desires and answers to prayers, but also spiritual blessing, where our spiritual eyes and ears are gradually opened up to see and hear God speaking sweet things into our spirits.  He will speak truth into our spirit.  I told you, he showed me exactly how it is going into the next dimension...and I believe him.

And when you're THAT close to God, you can handle anything that comes your way because he promises that he won't put any more on you than you can bare, and he will give you a way out.  In Jacky's case, we give our pain to God, but we can still shed a tear on a memory and...it's not an unbareable pain, it's a sweet memory.  Yes, we will miss him forever, but too, we WILL see him again.

As for you needing me, we need each other, but you don't need me to survive and succeed in life.  Look at that awesome job that you have.  We prayed for one job, and God gave you one even better!  Manage your money right and you are hunky'dory!  He sees what you do with a little bit, and he will give you more.  You live on your own, are raising Haven, able to have nice things in life, have the confidence in yourself to succeed.  You don't NEED me, you will just miss me.

But I don't aim to pack my bags for awhile. We have Haven growing up to look forward to, and then you get to look forward to being a Nana'Mama and me a gr'Nana'Mama.  Jacky's spirit will be with us every day of it. 

Cry for Jacky.  Miss him!  But let God sweeten the pain.  Look forward to your future.  I do.  And when it is my time, my spirit will be with you every day of it.

I love you always and forever...

Luke 8:15