Jacky Ralph Amos

Happy Easter Jacky~~@ I miss you. Haven miss's you also. I can only hope that I will find another man in my life to be as good as a role model that you were to her. I can only hope for alot of things in life. I am just learning day by day. Learning life and all it can make you feel, experience, act, loose, win and just the reaction to each. The happiness and the joy. Life is harder... I don't want to turn 25.... Do you know that time is still going and it's just a matter of time untill I have to deal with my mom being gone.. Then what? It's only going to be me dealing with it ...and then I am all alone beside for Haven. I won't have you NOW. No imediate family. That sucks 4real. But what can I do? I don't ike to think. I need joy. I feel like a big ball of MESS. I shoul be happy.. I have a great job, a beautiful daughter, an apt, a car, a mom and family that deal and are always there for me, God, a cool cat, but still I don't feel goodd or happy. I just want to feel Joy and laugh and not be ill. I will tho it just takes time. Anyway I love you and Haven always talks about you. Watch over us.  

It's been a great weekend, but I sure wish you were here to have enjoyed it with us.  I stopped by your grave after church.  It's pretty, with many people thinking of you as lots of goodies have been left.  All have been put down neatly, and fresh grass is growing.  I don't know who put the cross there, I think Crystal, and I would like it to stay there even after your grave'cover is finished.

 

I sure miss you, son.  I would have never in my wildest imagination thought that I would have to live life without you, altho I had repeatedly warned you about that motorcycle.  But I can't turn back time, forever for me, tomorrow for you.

 

I love you.  I miss the fact that you would have had two plates loaded and sitting side by side yesterday...and you would have eaten every bit, because I would always say>>>You had better eat all of that, boy, because we're not wastin'!  I would say it every time, and you would always eat ALL of it.  Then back later to eat again.

 

You would have been out in the yard playing with the kids, and as pretty as it was yesterday, I imagine that you would be out there with Wee having a water balloon battle.

 

You would have helped set up at the church this morning, then back today for the nachos that I made with leftover chilli and salsa.  You would have evaded Christy and me and Robin and our woman talk.  You would be sitting here now watching cops with me and wishing to beat my computer up....you just hated computers, and got so frustrated with them>>but I do see that you have tattoo sites that you put in my favorites, which, speaking of, was the church theme today.  You would leave here tonight saying>>I'm gone, mama.  Be back later...which always meant tomorrow.

 

Tomorrow for you.  Forever for me.

 

I love you, always and forever.

Great family day, Jacky!  (Thanks all for coming).  We forgot to send the balloons, but tomorrow is Easter, so off they will go. 

 

 

Angie, I love you so much too, always hawk you...you are my baby.  (Do you see why I do now?)

 

  May you and Haven have an awesome Easter, with you teaching her the true meaning behind it.  (And thanks for delivering the flowers to Jacky's sites....)  I'm not up to that, don't even go to church that route...

 

But, Angie, we did love Jacky so.  EVERYbody did!  Don't wonder about CPR and bigger helmets.  Jacky would not have been the same if he had lived.  Not with his sort of head truama and injuries.  He would have been miserable.  I listened to him say so within days before his death.  He would not want to live like THAT, paralyzed or mindless.  With his type injury, it would have been mindless.  Let's be greatful that in some cases death comes instantly.  Maybe sometimes memories are sweeter...

 

I love you!  I know it, that these holiday times consist of what'ifs and wishes and misty eyes....

I can remember the first Easter after Kiera was born , Tony was just sentenced to do 90 day's at bootcamp , Crystal brought Kiera to the house i had made her a Easter basket and you came by and brought her a big stuffed something it looked like an egg or abird but it was cute i have pictures and you were always there when Tony was'nt or could'nt be so this year neither of you Amos boy's are here for Amos kid's and family's ,but we all know you are in heaven and Tony is in North Carolina  making aliving ,so watch over him and keep him safe on his job and his long highway traveling we are always thinking about you but not worrying because you are in a safe and wonderful place