Jacky Ralph Amos

P.S.>Last Thursday they picked up that guy that hit you, on outstanding warrants because of your death.  I have no idea what that is about....  I thought that he was extradicted and in a Mississippi jail for charges pending there.  How is it that he is out and running free BACK here?  Still driving, to beat all.

Not that I judge him, the situation, or am even mad about it.  I just don't understand it all.

We went to Daniel's b'day cook'out tonight (that they planned at the last minute).  We got gifted too, which was a nice surprise.

Their little home is pleasant, and even more'so as they iron out the little wrinkles that you promised to help with.  I just didn't realize how everyone soooo relied on or looked forward to the use of your muscles, son.

I sigh.

Everyone is trying to replace you with my baby brother, Shane.  Even me and John.

April 18, 2008

Jenny, I was wrong about the plum tree.  Shane dug it up as a sprig for me when Mama died.  And I was wrong about the peach tree.  That is from Ruby, and when my gr'ma died.

I'll sure never forget Jacky's plants tho! 

Autumn said something yesterday, that the way we do things here with the memory balloons and all, regularly,  is as if he isn't gone.  That's true.  It feels like Jacky is away, but not gone.  Everytime that I walk out onto my front porch, I will see Jacky.  He was here everyday, and I think that I became closer to him than anyone ever in my life.  I guess because we suffered the same worries, problems, frustrations,  fears, joys, laffs....family.

That problem with my muscles, is probably digging and squatting in the dirt for Jacky (altho John does most of the digging), altho, like Haven, I'm too hyper for my own good.  I want everything to be perfect for years to come. 

Angie seems to worry that if something happens to me, then she will be stranded, because she always knew that she could depend on Jacky to be there for her.  (He always was).  I don't know why she worries, because she is perfectly capable...of manipulating John), but in case it's me first, please let her know that family her Amos end will always be there for her.  And, if vice'versa>>I will always be here for Wee.

In a sense, I can see why she worries.  I always expected Jacky to take care of me when it came to muscle business around the house>>ESPECIALLY in my older age.

We expected a lot out of Jacky.  I guess that God wants us to turn to HIM with our expectations.

A lesson learned.  At least my end.

To the Brown family>>>Jacky adored the socks clean off of y'all.  He absolutely adored you, and we LOVED listening to his stories!  He absolutely loved you guys.

April 17, 2008

Whoo, Jacky, you would be drooling today!  Autumn brought over farm fresh churned butter, and altho I buy it organic>>>I've not tasted such as that since I was a child raised on Cowan's farm!  John got grumped at me because I sneaked away and ate a biscuit all by myself, because he has missed that taste for about....forty years himself.  He ate all of my biscuits!  I have a feeling that I'm going to get flogged tomorrow>>Charlene and Troy wanting their dose of what is extremely REAL butter.  Maybe I can gain a pound back off it.  Those double'yoked eggs are tasty and to die for too.  Them Omish have never let go their perfect taste'buds, that's for sure!

Autumn, so sweet, left me a "Dear Janice" book of God's promises.  She filled out the end with an apology straight from her heart.  She didn't have to, all chaos forgiven years ago within my heart,  but needed to for her, I guess.  It was straight from her heart, I could feel it.  All turned out for the good, at least my end, according to God's promise.  I have to say that I was touched.  And if I am touched, then God is touched...all works out for the good.  Kids raising kids....  we make sooo many mistakes in our youth.

But we take our experiences and grow from them, and actually promote growth...

God is good!!!!<<Never forget it!

I love you, Jacky.  See?  You didn't die in vain.  I saw Satan trying to snake back into Angie's life today, but held TIGHT on a rebuke of him and his continual dare to TRY me!  I didn't go chick'with'her'head'on'the chop'block'mode.  I just folded my arms, claimed faith as the mustard'seed sort>>and moved that mountian out to sea.  By faith.  I expected a good report>>in Ya'shooa's name, (not spelt right), Christ name.

And got it.

Angie?  Keep your veggies and  fruits seperated from now on.  And, especially your potatos and onions....  Even our FRUIT can give off chemical fumes that destroy each other>>if we share or store them in wrong or MIXED places

Okay, okay>>I'm stuck on food at the moment, with prices so sky'high as they are.  But I notice that, too, God in his word and promises, spoke of blessings...using fruit of the crops as examples.

I just desire that everyone knows and realizes...this life here has only one purpose for me>>>>>>>>and that is to be received in the next life.  Yes, life is good with it's discoveries.  But imagine that new tomorrow.  Won't it be awesome?

Hey, son.  Remember this time last year?  I sure do!  I was high'strung and felt like nobody to talk to except God, you, and Charlene (a little bit).  And my barn a LOT.  I was a mess of emotions, and couldn't wait until 2008 got here, always claiming that '08 would be my year of new beginnings, because biblically, number eight means just that...new beginnings.

I don't think that either of us would have ever dreamed that the number seven (spiritually) meant completeness.  Do I have to go to my notes to check that?  I probably should, but I don't think so.  You died Fall, ending 2007.

I felt pretty close to completeness and connection with God last year, '07, and then>>OW!  I have to begin a year of new beginnings without YOU??  God, say it ain't so!

But it is so, and I have the peace of Christ, that Comforter promised, to carry me through, and soooo amazing to me, I'm becoming so sensitive to God, so more close to him, despite losing you.  I know that folks probably can't understand it.  I really don't myself.  I'm so sensitive to God via his word.

Why am I even writing this?  I'm so tired of disappointments happening along in my life, but learning quickly to deal with them.  I was recently elated by your church splitting, and part of it going back to the cinema.  (NOT divided, just doubling), but was really happy that  Tim Samples would be handling that end.  I guess he won't now, guess that he is set for new beginnings of his own.

It always aches a heart to watch someone go to where God has directed them.  Good thing is...they are WILLING to go.

I wonder what you would say to my>>"NOW what?"

You would say<<"Mama, listen to your heart."

Okay.  I will.  I don't understand it all, but I will listen to my heart.

The most un'liked person in my life has always been myself.  I felt to have never been good enough, strong enough, able enough....

But God clearly complimented me and verified it via his scripture today..."You are enough, simply in your simplicity.  Simply in your DESIRE to serve me wholly (holy) in MY realm."

We praise God, try humbly to praise him, but when we get into his word and he starts praising US>>big wow!  That's a good feeling.

Year of new beginnings....  I will never again allow Satan to rob me.

I love you, apple of my eye.  Thank God that he didn't rob you...