Jacky Ralph Amos

I've been questioning God lately, and seeking the answers via his word.  I know that when Satan robs us, God will restore it many times over.  I've just been chewing at my jaw as to how he can possibly restore YOU back to me many times over.

Reading Psalms 115:13-14, "He will bless them that fear the Lord, both small and great.  The Lord shall increase you more and more, you and your children."

I prayed, "Here it is again, Lord.  How can you restore me my child?  HE don't even have children."

Then I read the explanation of the verse below, and it sunk in.  "Lord shall increase:  Especially increase in spiritual blessings, with the increasings of God.  He will bless you with the increase of knowledge, wisdom, grace, holiness and joy.  He shall increase you more and more, so as long as you live, you shall be still increasing, till you come to perfection, as the shing light." Prov 4:18

I get it.  Angie, Haven and Tracy after me will be all the more, even MORE in tune with God and even more than me dedicated and determined to share his word.  (Look out, girls!  Get ready to dance with the devil, but you will surely have the victory!)  In a way that's a big relief to me to get an answer.  It may be years down the road before that answer is made manifest, but...it is still the promise, a desire of my heart that I've been praying on for almost two years now.

Another question that I had been asking God to give me light on was from Proverbs, where he promises long life to those that obey their parents.  I mean, let's face it, Jacky was a super good boy in the last decade of his life.  He had been maturing by the year, a child to be proud of.

Listening to Arnold Murray the other day, scripture by scripture, verse by verse...he very well in tune with the Greek, Chaldean and Hebrew translations....  Okay, now I know that long life doesn't mean longevity (length of life), but QUALITY, less storms in life, and strength to overcome ANY storm here on earth.  (Talking spiritual storms here, as well as physical).  That is riches of life. 

And, yeah....one can surely desire that more than money (so called riches) when it comes to the loss of a child.  It's really a RICH feeling to be able to hang in there with Christ covering us, our emotions at times of loss.

I'm still questioning/asking for guidance on one more thing.  Jacky?  Do you get glimpses of us?  Are you allowed to be able to get sneak'peeks into our lives?  Happy ones, I mean?  Do you get to see how we honor you, apple of my eye?  And honor God at the same time via you?

I LOVE you, boy!  Forever and always!  I thank God everyday for you.

John spoke with a man today that used to manage Dolly's park.  His daughter was killed about seventeen years ago, and buried there in Pigeon Forge.  He said that he will be buried where you are, but it will always be like yesterday, the memory of her leaving. 

That makes me feel good, son.  I think that my worse fear was of your face or memory fading, your voice fading,  or your spirit here with me fading.   (But I'm going to be buried with you, or I'll haunt somebody!) 

I'm determined to let go of fears.  That one went today with that man's testimony.  I know that God sent that to me.  He knows that fear will block my path, cause me to fall short in all that I want to do in your memory, but not only that.....I soooo want others to feel His presence as I feel it.  He wants that too, else He wouldn't be lifting me up higher and higher every day.  "Commit your works to me and your thoughts will be established." Proverbs 16:3

I have no fear anymore of you fading away, Jacky.  When I hear the birds sing, I think of your voice.  ("Is it a sin to love my motor'cycle, because I love, love, love my motor'cycle.")  You SANG that question to me!  The aroma of food, I think of you.  When the wind blows, the sun shines, even in storms...I think of you.  Because you are with God, and I immediately think on Him when it comes to giving thanksgiving for these things, or prayers of protection against some things...

I love writing to you.  I hope God passes these messages on, at least the gist of them.

Thank you, Tammy.  Trust me, Jacky spoke highly of you.

Trust me again>>>I am sooooo glad that you and Angie are friends!  Haven loves your kids.  You and yours are good for us/her.  (Same as your friendship seemed to have been good for Jacky).

I see you every day.   Modern  technology is something.... 

I'm so happy I could dance on a cloud!  I won't tell why, don't let your left hand know what your right hand is doing>>or is it vice'versa?  But, Jacky, even not here, you are soooo alive. It's the end of the day, Mother's Day, and God allowed me to see my true gift from you.  My true blessing from HIM, my God, thru you.  I love you so much!  I KNOW that you're grinnin' that perdy boy grin from ear to ear just like me>>>>I can't stop smiling, can't help but feeling anything other than true happiness on a day such as this.

I know we're killing the family, because they are just dying to know (or will be) as to why I'm so happy and what your (surprise) gift to me was....but we're going to let some time pass....say until this time next year....and we'll let them in on the secret.  That in itself will be another perfect Mother's Day gift from you and God.  Noooooo, it don't have nothing to do with lilies!!!

I LOVE you, Jacky!  Am honored to be your mama!  Your love just keeps on spreading, son.

I LOVE God!  He shocked me with the end'of'the'day Mother's Day gift that only HE could be able to reveal to me.  Ohhhh, His love just keeps on spreading!  I love it!

I love you, Angie, because you're you, (my baby that I've always fretted on in protection mode that you resented),  but now growing up, and we've never been more close than we have this year, and your gifts mean the world to me.  I'll sure use the oven for summer time cooking, will be super handy dandy for cooking outside!  I cannot stress how so proud I am of you/us.  Please let Beto know that I'm so touched by his flowers, and I wish that it could be between you two....but God is in charge of your life from now on out.  (I truly DO wish that you and Beto could manage to make it work.)  Okay, I know....flowers can buy a heart.

I love him for and with you, but may God's best plan win.

Tracy, thanks for the decorative cookies.  They're PERDY.  I'm going to set them out on the porch, and if the ants don't attack them, then...I'm going to glue them to a plak and keep them forever!  Sincerely, thanks, baby girl.  No, they're not edible, but I love you for the effort.  Sincerely, again>>you are a gift from God, a Mother's Day gift all in itself. (No, this doesn't buy you a tattoo).

Jenny, Thanks for the extra attention and ornament>>you went beyond the extra mile since you are my age....okay, almost.  It's on the wall amidst Jacky's other memorials>>and fits nicely.  I think that the living room is becoming a Jacky room.  He would love it.

Tony, THANK you for calling me!  I love your voice.  It's Jacky's voice.  I love the thought of you, because Jacky was every bit the minute of you growing up.  I didn't realize such things as this until now.  I just saw you all as kids that married and gave us grand'kids, and....(happily) life to feed us until our time to go.  I did NOT realize that  a generation could be wiped out in an instant>>>despite the fact that I always warned caution.  It's just a natural instinct in me, to be cautious.  I never really figured that one of your ends could come. 

It can, can't it?  Please be careful out there.  (Jacky, watch over him).  I think that I'm more up to attention with you, Tony, because you boys were like two peas in a pod.  I love you, Tony, with all of my heart, never said it, but I surely do.  Jacky loves you so much>>you just wouldn't believe.

Crystal?  You are so dedicated and awesome.

This day turned out great.  (Thanks Robin/Daniel & babes for the bag.)

Even a fire'ant attack on Lem and Haven couldn't shoot down our day.

I couldn't have asked for a better day, and to end it with the most perfect gift from you, Jacky!  I'm still just in awe...happy!  Your spirit is contagious, son.  But I also know to give credit where credit is due.  You are there at the knee of God.

Are you smiling, God?

Yesssss, you are!

Janice,

          I just wanted to say to you Happy Mothers Day to a woman who has blessed me with two of the greatest friends I could have ever asked for. So Happy Mothers Day!