Jacky Ralph Amos

Ephesians 5: verses 8 through 14. 

 

Verse 14: Awake you who sleep, and arise from the dead, and Christ will give you light.

 

This is probably the scripture that drew you to write in one of your poems that even the dead will hear.  (I mistakenly copied your poem as deaf, and need to fix that).

 

I'm proud of you, Jacky, that you understand the scriptures.  "Awake you who sleep, and arise from the dead" doesn't refer to the physically dead and buried, but the spiritual dead souls walking around here on earth.  Some say that they accept Christ and never really try to get to know him, don't wish to receive his wisdom, but you there in Heaven are even more alive than most folks walking around down here!  When Christ gives one light, then their spirits can SEE, actually have SIGHT (as you spoke of in your poem), the blind have sight, meaning spiritually blind have sight once they receive Christ.  It's given to us once we receive Christ and ask for wisdom.

 

I'mmmmm proud of you!  You are a good boy!  And what in'sight you have.  You really did strive to walk in the light.

 

I love you!

 

Your tree will stay decorated until New Year's Day, or maybe even until we decide to plant it.  Folks are still adding ornaments.  Roy Lee gave me Haven's Santa today, that came with her four wheeler, and there it is, symbolic of the little dare'devil that you were!  (Her too, she's just like you...)  I sigh...

 

And Robin came in today with a mouse ornament, because it reminded her of when you two were little>>>you were quiet as a mouse.

 

This gives Christy and Charlene and anyone else that may want to add an ornament time to do so.

 

(Kewl!  I think that I just learned how to send photos!)

 

 

Ecclesiastes, chapter 3:  To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven.  A time to be born, and a time to die...    ....A time to break down, and a time to build up, A time to weep, and a time to laugh, A time to mourn, and a time to dance....

 

Jacky, Feelings are a choice if we have the holy spirit abiding within us, and we chose to laugh and be merry and enjoy this holiday just the same as we always have.  When we choose to allow God to work that perfect peace within us, then there is no going back to sadness, any and all sense of guilt are erased, the why's can be put on the back'burner, because eventually we'll get our answers...

 

We chose to not let Satan destroy our holiday, and son, it was a good one!  You were a part of it, as I susupect that you very well know, and thanks to you we are creating more Christmas traditions (ALL holiday traditions) for your sake, to keep your memory alive  amongst the younger babes.  You will forever continue to spend the holidays with us in heart, and presence of spirit!  And we honestly felt your presence, or at least (((I))) did!

 

The kids...okay, BIG kids too, sent balloons off to heaven in memory of you.  I know you smiled, because I know that God probably did allow you to experience the moment of their awe as the balloons literally seemed to disappear into heaven!  It was awesome!  Of course I'm a hog, and did the first balloon long before anyone arrived, just as an experiment...Awesome!  I was amazed at how far that balloon went/disappeared so fast.  I think that we'll do this New Years!

 

Haven, Kiara and Crystal?  Gah'lay!  I thought that they would never stop writing on their balloons, and me chompin' at the bit to get them out there to send them off.  I love that part, watching them gooooooo!  All babes and some adults got involved, and>>>>you've got about 28 balloons landing who knows where.  I'm praying that at least one of them will land in at least one person's hand that lost a child recently...  Cause them to smile, help wipe the grief from their heart.  Cause them to realize that just because someone physically dies, doesn't mean that they are spiritually dead.  If I didn't believe that myself>>>I couldn't have gotten out of bed day one of being without you.

 

But I'm happy for you, Jacky!  I chose day one to accept that you were gone, and after month one or so, to put the grief away.  I don't choose to grieve over you, (won't give Satan that satisfaction!)  I choose to rejoice WITH you! Give GOD that satisfaction.  Give YOU that satisfaction.  My spirit is free and clear, so that I can hear if God wishes to pass on anything else new and interesting, or maybe even a message from you.

 

Another new Christmas tradition>>your tree and memory ornaments.  SOOO awesome, and keeps your spirit snug around us.  I found four hearts to line down the tree, button style>>that represent each of our hearts here in this home that miss your daily physical presence.  Myself at the top, of course, then Angie, John and Tracy.  The angels are Haven's, because many times that she is here at night, and we say our prayers, (and daily without a miss for me), we plead the blood of Christ over each and every one of our family, and ask him to set his angels and ministering spirits charge over each and everyone of our family.  She names off names, right down to the dawgs.  Whoooooo...sometimes I get bored listening...

 

I've often wondered why God allowed you to go, because I KNOW that the minute that you left here that day, it's my habit to pray over you....and he let me know, that you are his, it's your time, and he needs warriors.  There is a real war yet to come.  I knew that.  Even your poems said so....  You absolutely desired to be God's warrior.  You understood the big picture.

 

Jenny and Roy Lee, a large silver cross that puts them in mind your tattoo.  If I hadn't asked, I would have thought simply the cross of Christ, but once that I put my reading glasses on and really pondered it>>>it DOES favor your tattoo!  Ain't that kewl, or what?!

 

Tony comes in with a pepper'mint ornament.  Who woulda' ever thought it?  But it represents one of your last days, last pictures, where you stole the bowl of peppermint from a restaurant (in jest, and probably a sheet or two to the wind).  I immediately knew what that ornament represented, and>>>>you was grinnin' there from heaven on that one, wouldn't you? 

 

Ahh, from Crystal,  a Pewter Mother Mary holding baby Jesus in a box that sings 'Silent Night' when opened.  I'm not going to ever take that out of the box, but will sit it in front of your tree until the year that the box stops singing, and your tree is tall and strong and can hold many ornments.  That, and all of the first ornaments go at the top of the tree.  Always!  And was it a typical Mother Mary and Jesus, or so I thought?  But how sweet.....she said that it reminded her of me and you...is why she bought it.   Now THAT is touching!

 

Also from Tony & Crystal, a  memory cross for my new mantle.  It will stay there year round, (it matches!),  and I will have your name attached to it.  (Tony's idea).

 

Amanda bought a little silver heart that says 'With God' entwined in a clear mini'mesh'style looking bag.  I didn't get to ask her why, but the answer is clear.  After all, you ARE with God.  I'm glad that she understands that. 

 

Autumn and your daddy brought over a small ceramic house with a wreath on the door, above it saying>>'New Home'.    I asked Autumn why this particular ornament, which was obvious>>New HOME!

 

The ornament thingie is catching on, with Charlene and Christy a little remorseful that they didn't know...and would have loved to have participated>>and I know that's the truth of it.  Not all have access to the computer, or to your little web'site.

 

(Thank you, Amanda, for this most treasured memorial of all, Jacky's memorial site).  Thank you, baby girl!  You'll be forever blessed by it, and>>>>>found a way to sneak a good and final one on Jacky, didn't you?  You two!  He can't out'do you on this one!  Uhmmm>>you fibbed to me about my 'tader salad.  I asked what else it needed.  You said that it needed nothing.  Today, John said something was missing>>>Whheeeee, I got them boiled eggs done and diced in just the nick of time for the crowd!  Don't ever fibb to me.  It will come out on you that you did so.  My kids have learned this from years of experience!

 

But seriously, happiness is a choice.  Contentment is a choice.  Peace>a choice.  Love, forgiveness...fruits of the spirit, patience....nothing negative...all is a choice.  It's a growing process, but we can get there if we choose to grow there, and...according to scripture, if we so choose to, then we CAN.  In an instant, even amidst the growing process.  It's a family process, team'work.  If one is down, lift them up>>>don't pet 'em<<make 'em LAUGH on a memory....  And never forget to NOT leave God out of the equation.  Even home alone, all that one needs is the Almighty, the Great I AM.

 

Good'night, Jacky.  That Haven still ain't a'sleep, but...after two fried eggs with the "babies gushin' from the middles" (over easy) and a toast and a peanut butter on a spoon (after me three days cookin' here)....I'm a'sleepy!  It's been one for the memory book, but, yet>>>haven't they all, son?

 

I love you!  Soooo much!  But, then, I don't have to say it.  I'm in the spirit, along with you>>ALWAYS.  It's my daily duty since forever, to stay in the word, so that I can honestly say that I'm in the spirit...

 

(Happy birthday, Jesus), and thank you, God, for coming to earth in the form of man, as your own child, and son of woman, that we might be able to ever so slowly, but gradually digest the magnifence of YOUR presence.

merry christmas jacky i know your at a bigger and better table this year but your memory will always be us i miss you being there for tony and wendy and always aggravating crystal about tony and then both of you ganging up on her and you doing the same with kiera and making me seperate yall like you were the same age as her we just miss you here and i try not to be sad because i know you are safe and happy now and you will never get FAT so eat all you want we miss you alot and will see you soon

GOD, I know about 4 years ago i had a good relationship with you, everything I was ding, when I was driving, when I was scared and when I saw someome in need, I would be talking and praying in my head . Everynight bebore I went to sleep I would ask for protection over my family from danger seen and unseen, I would pray you cast out any cancers tumors or dieseases, Have your angle looking over Haven 24/7 ect all the time. I DRIFTED way and lil and little it faded baceause I was busy or focused on something else, I never stoped believing but I just wasnt as spiritualy strong as I was and I know that hurt your feelings.. I know you wanted me back because I prayed somehow that you and me get like we use to be.Because my life wasn't the same as it was with you in it everyday, the way I thought, where my emotions and focuses were, Life Sucked with out you , I wasn't being blessed as I would have.  Now I'm back and I am back stronger and I am back for eternity with you. Maybe if thats why my brother had to go because you knew I would come running back to you.  I THANK YOU! I know you have a plan and I know even though it was jack'y time that it was also an attemp for not only me but for others that  dont know you to seek you and to come to believe and excpt you! Just my life is feeling back on tract sprititualy with you and I love love that feeling.  I couldn't imagined someone going through life without you! I'm so in love with you and it is drawing Hilliary in and I will be so proud if she except you and give you her problems and emptyness and I pray she does so I can see her in heaven also. God I would never be mad at you and I would never doubt why you do what you do because you are perfect to me. You have your plan and you are on scedule. I'm just glad that I am apart of it and I know I will be in heaven with my father and my brother and Jacky oneday. Thatt will be a happy day, and I pray my family and loves one (HAVEN)  understand that when I do go I KNOW WHERE I AM going and I only pray that my daughter understands that too and is taken care of and raised very well,  I know God that you know exactly what I am going through and what up's and down's that i fell about my brother leaving but I know YOU know what I can handle and you take the worst away because Jacky is heaven with you AT HIS HOME. God please give him a hug for me and let him know Haven still talks about her Uncle and I know it's Jesus's Birthday comming up so I know jacky will be celebrating and eating good. ( please have him some beans and cornbread as a gift from us down here it that'ss ok. I don't want him to be sad and I know that he cant feel and sadness in heaven but let him know WE will feel him here on Christmas and We wish him a Merry one! Happy Birthday JESUS and thank you so so so much I love you-Angie

Your church is kewl, Jacky, just like you said.  Today's message was on Emanuel, which means God is with us.  The before and after of John chapter 1, verses 14-18 is a good read.  Jesus promises that after he leaves, he will send the comforter, and whoo'boy it's a fact to the more indepth reader and follower of Christ!

 

I drew off my promised comforter before, during,and after your funeral.  The day after your funeral, I was reading certain scripture verses that you had marked, and simply closed my eyes for a second.  I didn't ask God to explain to me, but awesomely, sooooo vividly and in color, He gave me a vision that was pretty as any picture such as I've ever seen.  (He's done this a couple of times in the past, is how I know that it was a spiritual vision).

 

I was driving along in the cutest little car.  The colors of that car were so vivid, black and yellow like a bumble'bee.  I was just riding down this small path of a road, through a forest of sorts, weaving in and around the curves, up hills and down...it was such a pretty scene.  Then I came to the prettiest brick wall such as I've ever seen in my life, and without stopping, noiselessly, it's like I stood back from the car and watched it go through the wall, and the wall exploded into sooo many various colors, like fire'works, raining high into the sky.

 

Then I was back into the car, and looking back, saw the fire'works settle ever so quietly back into apretty brick wall, except now it was BEHIND me.  The wall was really a tall gate of sorts, but immediately as I saw that it felt back into place, I felt such a peace.  I popped my eyes open and kept asking God was THAT HOW so easy the transition is????  Was that how simple it was to cross over???  Then God put it into my spirit the birthing process.  (He used the birthing process back when David died), and recanted to me that some birth through quick, like Angie, but some have to push and push and push harder to get out, like you did.  It makes me wonder of that's why you were allowed to go quicker, you worked harder to get here.  Don't know about that, but anyway>>>)

 

I popped my eyes open and squeezed them shut tight, saying, God, do that again!  Of course he didn't.  When God gives you something, hang tight to it.  The transition is sooooo awesome.  And that is what my comforter had for me that day that we buried you.  Just an awesome view of how simply your transition, your crossing over, was from here to there.  Very pleasant, pituresque, and sweet.  I can almost see you saying immediately after the fact>>Wow!  God!  Do that again!

 

Jacky, I have to be honest, and I have a feeling that you want me to be.  After all, you are there with God, and God knows our heart, knows if we are honest or not.  But, if I had a choice to continue on here on earth without you, or without God, then you know that I would choose that you be there, and God be here with me.  I could not imagine my life without God, and I think that makes you proud, causes you to praise him for it, because you have watched me struggle, give in, give up, and finally choose that I would go God all the way or be a no go.  I was your example in that area, and I'm grateful to God for that, for causing you to watch me, and decide to seek yourself the fruits of the spirit, wisdom, knowledge...  Seek and you shall find, and we sure did, didn't we, son?

 

You have a merry Christmas there in heaven celebrating along with the earthlings Jesus' birthday.  Your preacher seems to think that it's really in April, or something like that, and it's okay>>>it don't matter.  But me and you figure that he was concieved in Dec., and actually born in Sept., soooo....hmmmm.....that would still make his b'day a Dec. one if we so choose, huh? 

 

Oh well, as I said, it don't matter!  The holiday's are all about family, and all about Christ, and the togetherness that it brings.  Love, peace, good'will to all...

 

I re'set my sights every day since you've been gone, trying to be careful not to put your memory above the two'thousand'plus memory of the ultimate of importance.  It's something to do with that movie that I watched early last summer, where I watched Mary literally WATCH her son be hanged.  For us.  And as the tears rolled down my face, I wondered how a mother could bare it, simply her son dying, but much'less WATCHING him suffer as he did so.

 

I praise God that you went quick, and I praise my comforter for that minute'vision.

 

Everlasting